My Cats Set Me Up
by Claire Violet Thorpe
Summary: FAGE 5 story; written for addicted-to-romione-bedward. "My cat is on your roof." With those words, Edward must deal with Bella and her 7 baby kittens. Bella and her kittens find themselves breaking down a huge barrier that Edward has built up for himself.
1. Twilight

FAGEY McFAGEINGTON THE 5th

Title: **My Cats Set Me Up**

Written for: Cherry Bellazza Callen / addicted-to-romione-bedward

Written By: Claire Violet Thorpe

Rating: T

Summary/Prompt used: Bella/Edward; A girl dressed in a short, pink robe and fluffy, bunny slippers and the quote "_My cat is on your roof_."

Summary: Edward was just sitting at home one fine day when Bella, his next-door neighbor, shows up at his house, saying that her cat was on his roof. Edward must rescue the cat and in the process of doing so, finds out about the woman who lives next to him.

* * *

Edward Cullen heard a knock at the door. He frowned, getting up from his seat and going to the front door. He didn't like to be interrupted while he was reading. Edward went to his front door and opened it, seeing a woman wearing nothing more than a short pink robe and a pair of fluffy bunny slippers. "What do you want?" he snapped as he glared at her.

"My cat is on your roof," said the woman.

"Again?" Edward snapped.

"Well, said the woman, "he never really goes outside but today, for some reason, he decided that he wanted to get out. How he got onto your roof, I'll never know."

Edward frowned as he stared at the woman. She had brown eyes and brown hair. Edward had not met all of his neighbors yet, so he had no idea of who this woman was. She said, "I'm Bella Swan, your next door neighbor," said Bella.

"I see," said Edward. "And who is your cat?"

"His name is Twilight," said Bella. "He's only a baby cat with black fur. He likes to hide in dark spaces."

"Ok then," said Edward. "Let's go rescue your cat."

He led Bella inside the house and up the stairs leading to the attic. Bella looked around her, seeing scores of pictures of Edward's family as well as shelves full of books and CD's. She began to wonder who her next door neighbor was, as she heard that Edward never liked to entertain visitors even though he was very close to his family.

A meow was heard in the attic, which Bella didn't miss. "Twilight?" she said, "is that you?"

Edward also heard the cat meowing and shook his head. "I don't know how or why he is hiding in the attic," he said, "but this has got to stop."

"Why are you saying that?" said Bella.

"Because every other day, someone's cat ends up in my attic," Edward snapped. "Why do they keep coming into my attic?"

"Who knows?" said Bella. The cat meowed again as Bella and Edward moved towards the attic. "Twilight, hang on," Bella cried out. "I'm coming."

Edward opened the door to the attic and flipped on a light switch. Bella looked up and saw the cat hiding among some empty boxes. "C'mere, Twilight," Bella said as soon as she saw the cat.

The cat heard Bella's voice and ran out of his hiding place towards her. Edward gasped as he saw the cat; he had a long black coat. He had a medium-length narrow face, bright green eyes, and was a bit pudgy. He was a picky eater, pounces anything that moves, and is very shy. The cat purred as soon as Bella picked him up and gave him a big hug. "Now let's get you home; your mother must be worried sick." To Edward, she said, "Thank you."

"Yeah," said Edward. He really didn't want Bella or the kitten in his house longer than necessary. "We'll show ourselves out," Bella said as she took the kitten and went home.

For the rest of that day, all Edward could think about was Bella and the baby cat who ended up on his roof. He tried to brush it off as routine; he knew that half the neighborhood's cats often ended up on his roof or in his attic and he had to rescue them all. But why were the cats coming to his house? Couldn't they be trapped in the trees that lined his front yard like regular cats?

Edward frowned, intending to solve this perplexing mystery.

As for Bella, however, she set the baby cat at his mother's side and watched as the mother cat licked her son clean. She recalled the day that Tawny showed up at her back door: it was wet and rainy outside and Bella was reading a book when she heard a cry at her back door. There was a cat on her porch. Bella went to the door and stared at the cat; this average-sized adult cat was a female with a medium-length white coat with small calico spots. She had a medium-length, average-width face, brown eyes, and is slightly pudgy. She would eat almost anything in sight, was very friendly, and would jump onto any available lap.

Bella saw the wet cat and opened the door, letting the cat walk in. The cat meowed as she looked up at Bella. Bella said to her, "Where's your home?" The cat meowed again, a signal that she was hungry and wanted food. Bella set out a plate filled with meat before the cat, and she gobbled it up. After a meal and a bath, the cat fell asleep on Bella's bed.

Within a few weeks, the cat had become part of Bella's life. She was a good companion, something that Bella seemed to lack nowadays. Eventually, Bella saw that the cat, which she named Tawny, was pregnant and one day, while Bella's mother Renee was visiting, Tawny gave birth to seven tiny kittens.

The kittens were named Twilight, Autumn, Princess, Robin, Shadow, Cloud, and Willow. They grew to like Bella's house and refused to leave, and Bella couldn't bring herself to give away the kittens. The kittens were a source of amusement for the neighbors, who would find them hiding in Bella's garage or backyard.

But now, Twilight was safe at home, but Bella couldn't help but wonder which one of her kittens would be next to end up on Edward Cullen's roof.


	2. Willow

The next day, Edward had slept in; he had been working late and was quite tired from the long hours. If only I could have switched from waiter to pianist, it wouldn't be so stressful, he thought to himself.

But there was another problem that he had to deal with, and it wasn't due to his job. A tiny cry was heard. "Oh, not this again!" he cried out as he got out of bed and went to the attic, expecting to see Twilight the cat come rushing out.

The kitten's cry came not from the attic, but it came from behind a potted plant that sat in the corner of his den. It was a little female with a medium-length brown tabby coat, a medium-length, broad face, brown eyes, and is somewhat thin. She is a picky eater, pounces anything that moves, and is very friendly.

Edward cautiously approached the kitten; she was hiding behind the plant. He noticed a collar that the kitten was wearing, which was the same collar that the first kitten was wearing. It was a black collar with a silver tag. Edward saw the name tag, which read the name "Willow".

In short, Willow the cat was in his house.

Edward said, "Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" The kitten hissed at him and tried to scratch at him, but Edward tried to pick up the kitten. She took off and hid in the plant. "Well this is just my luck," he muttered to himself as he watched the kitten jump into the plant. "How will I be able to get her out of the plant now?"

Just then, the doorbell rang. Edward sighed and went to answer the door once again, knowing that someone was coming after Willow. Bella was standing at his front porch, saying, "Have you seen Willow?"

"I have," said Edward, " and she's hiding in the plants."

He led Bella into his den, where both of them could hear the kitten crying. "Willow?" said Bella. "Is that you in there?" The kitten cried as she said to Edward, "She loves to hide in the plants, that's why I named her Willow."

"And Twilight?" Edward asked about the first kitten.

"He was born at twilight," said Bella. Just then, Willow jumped out of the plant and ran towards Bella. Bella scooped her up and said, "Did you fall into the plants?"

"She jumped in there when I tried to pick her up," said Edward.

"You're dirty," said Bella. "Let's get you home and give you a bath."

With that, Bella took Willow and went home, leaving Edward standing in his pajamas and bathrobe in the middle in the den. He shook his head, knowing that he wasn't going to sleep in today.


	3. Princess and Cloud

Two days after Willow showed up, Edward's family had come to visit him. He had made sure that the house was cleaned and ready and that there were no unexpected surprises hiding in the dining room. In his case, he hoped that there were no baby cats hiding in his house.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen and his wife, Esme, showed up at Edward's house in the afternoon. Esme said to Edward, "Will you never find a woman?"

"Well," said Edward, "I'm not trying to find anyone right now..." but Esme said aloud, "I didn't know that you had gotten some cats! When did you get them?"

"What?" Edward cried out as he turned to face the kitten who his mother was staring at. The kitten was a female with a medium-length white coat, green eyes, a medium-length, average-width face, and is a bit pudgy. Unlike the other two cats, she was quite shy and wary around strangers.

"What is she doing here?" Edward cried out as he took a closer look at the kitten. "I thought I made sure that there were no cats hiding here!"

"Apparently this one was on top of your bookshelf," said Esme. She scooped up the kitten and read its nametag. "Cloud," she said. "How fitting. She likes to hide in tall places."

"I found another cat," said Carlisle as he held up another kitten, who was hiding under the piano. Like Cloud, Princess had a medium-length white coat. She had blue eyes, a medium-length, narrow face and is quite thin. Unlike Cloud, she was very excitable and would climb into anyone's lap.

Edward frowned as he stared at Princess. So far, there have been four kittens who had visited his house. He was going to have to find out how they were getting into his house, if not why.

Princess and Cloud began crying as they stared at the three strange people. Edward said, "I'll have to call their owner." At once, Bella showed up, saying, "I take it that someone decided to hide in your house."

"This time, it's two of them," said Edward as he tried to hide his parents and hold onto the kittens. "How they got into my dining room I'll never know."

"Really," said Bella as she took the kittens and placed them in a basket.

"They both started crying when I saw them," said Edward.

"Edward?" Esme approached the front door. "Who are you talking to?"

"Nobody," said Edward, "just a woman who owns the cats."

"I see," said Esme as she stared at Bella. "Are those cats yours?"

"Yes," said Bella.

Carlisle saw Bella and said to Edward, "Why are you trying to shield us from her?"

"She's just coming to get the cats, that's all," said Edward as he slammed the front door shut.

Bella stared at the front door and sighed. There was just no understanding Edward Cullen.

After Bella left, Esme said, "Now why would you you do that, Edward? That was quite rude."

Edward said, "Look, I'm not interested in anyone right now."

"But don't you think the cats are showing up at your house for a reason?" said Carlisle. Edward glared at him. "I think the cats are telling you something."

"Such as they want to annoy me," said Edward as he ran a hand through his hair.

"No," said Esme. "Cats are mystical creatures. Surely they are onto something that you don't know yet."

"You think?" said Edward.

"Maybe they're telling you about the woman who owns them," said Carlisle. "Don't just ignore them; listen to what they have to say."

"Maybe," said Edward. He knew that this wasn't the last time that a cat would invade his house...


	4. Shadow

With Twilight, Willow, Cloud, and Princess showing up at Edward's house, he was sure that the cats were out there just to cramp his style, so to speak. But that was nothing when compared to the next evening, when he came home from work and decided to watch some TV.

Edward had just barely settled down on the couch when he heard yet another cry. "Oh God, not another baby cat!" he cried out as he turned to find the source of the cries. He didn't need to look very far, as he found a tiny cat hidden in the shadow of the couch. The cat had a short gray tabby coat. He has a short, narrow face and is somewhat thin. He is especially fond of chicken, pounces anything that moves, and is cautious around strangers.

At this, Edward shook his head. "You baby cats just love to come into my house, don't you?" The baby cat began to cry. "And I'm guessing that she's going to to come looking for you, isn't she?"

He saw he cat's nametag; it read the word _Shadow_. Edward knew then what the cat liked to do: hide in the shadows.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Edward scooped up the baby cat and answered it, saying, "I'm guessing that you're here to pick up your cat, again?"

"Shadow's here, isn't he?" said Bella as the baby cat began to cry. She picked him up and said, "I don't know how you managed to sneak away when I locked all the doors and windows, but you're here. Now let's get you home."

Edward sighed as he watched Bella take the cat and leave. There was no way he was going to enjoy his evening, not when he had gotten a visit from yet another baby cat and Bella Swan.


	5. Robin

"Dude, you've really got to stop being so wary about those kittens," said Emmett as he plopped down on Edward's couch and began eating the chips. "They're just babies."

Edward rolled his eyes at his brother. Emmett could be a huge pain in the butt sometimes. "All I'm saying is that these baby cats keep showing up when I don't want them to," he snapped. "And even worse, I have to beg their owner to keep them at home."

"You do know that the last owner of your house was the Cat Lady," Emmett's girlfriend Rosalie smiled at him. "She had scores of cats running around here. But when she died, the cats were adopted into the families that live in this neighborhood."

"So explain to me why there's a baby cat hiding in the birdseed box," Edward snapped as he saw a baby cat crying as he scurried about in the box. He had a short blue tabby point coat, a short, average-width face and is quite heavy. He is especially fond of chicken, is very lazy, and is very shy.

Emmett reached over and picked up the cat, saying, "I think he likes you."

"I see," said Edward as he read the cat's nametag. It read the name _Robin_. Robin meowed as Rosalie approached him. She said, "I'm guessing that this is one of her cats."

"Indeed," Edward frowned as he reached for the phone. Within a few minutes, Bella was knocking on the door. She said, "Let me guess: you found Robin in your house."

Edward frowned. "Everyday, there's a kitten in my house. Can you please keep an eye on yours?"

"She will when she understands the story of Gloria Fields," said Rosalie.

"Who was she?" said Bella.

"Gloria was a woman who, for some reason or other, became a shut-in," said Rosalie. "She kept a number of cats with her in this very house. No one really knew her, but they did leave plenty of food for her cats."

"So, explain why the cats keep showing up here," said Edward with a bored tone.

"Well, when she died two years ago, the neighborhood claimed the cats so that they weren't taken to animal shelters," said Rosalie. "For some reason, some of the female cats who once lived in the house had kittens, and the kittens are making their way here."

"I see," said Edward as he pushed Bella and Robin out the door.

"That was very rude, Ed," Emmett cried out as they all settled onto the couch. "She did seem rather nice."

"Just because Tanya cheated on you doesn't mean that you have to push away the next woman who comes to see you," said Rosalie.

"What do you know?" Edward glared at them.

At home, Bella said to Tawny, "I suppose you came from the old lady's house, didn't you? That's why you came here. You needed a good home." Tawny meowed as Robin and his siblings scampered around the living room. Bella knew that there was little Autumn left, and he would be the next one to sneak over Edward's house...


	6. Autumn

The next day, Edward decided to play his piano. He knew that things were going downhill, at least for him. So far, six baby cats named Twilight, Willow, Cloud, Princess, Shadow, and Robin had made their way into his house and caused him some undue trouble.

But it wasn't over yet; not by a long shot.

The moment Edward began to play, the sound of a meowing baby cat came from right inside his cornucopia display. "Not this again," he moaned as he stood up and went to his dining room table. The baby cat in question had has a short brown tabby coat, a short, broad face and is quite muscular. He is especially fond of beef, is a bit excitable, and prefers to be left alone.

Edward read he cat's collar, which was Autumn. "That's nice," he muttered to himself as the cat cried. "I have had seven baby cats come into my house. Seven baby cats who have nothing better to do than to cramp my style. Why do I even bother?"

Autumn meowed as Edward picked him up and went outside. He walked down the block until he reached Bella's house. This enormous house almost looks extraterrestrial and is in good condition. The interior is done in cool colors. The yard is moderately-sized and is neatly-trimmed.

Bella was sitting outside on her front porch. Six baby cats were playing in the playpen she had created especially for the cats. She looked up from the book that she was reading and saw Edward. She said, "Why are you here?"

"I have your cat," said Edward. "He decided that instead of me calling you and having you come pick him up, he wanted me to take him to your house."

"Indeed," Bella said as she reached out and took Autumn, putting him into the playpen. The baby cat immediately began jumping around and playing with his siblings.

Edward frowned, knowing that there wasn't anything else that he wanted to say to Bella. After seeing that Autumn was safely at home, he took off toward his. Something was going to happen, he knew it was. It was only a matter of time...


	7. The Catpocalypse

At this point, Edward Cullen had dealt with seven baby cats.

First, he found Twilight on the roof of his house. Next, he found Willow hiding in the plants. Then he found Cloud and Princess in the sitting room. He had found Shadow under the couch, Robin in the bird feeder, and Autumn on the dining room table. All seven cats belonged to one Bella Swan, who was his neighbor from down the lane.

He wondered what was driving the cats to show up at his house as he and his entire family had gone out to dinner. He also thought about the story of the cat lady named Gloria Fields and how she never had any friends or family, but she did own a bunch of cats. Bella was on her way to becoming the next cat lady if he didn't do something quick.

* * *

Bella sighed as she and Tawny settled on the couch. Seven baby cats were fast asleep in the playpen. The TV was on, but for some reason, Bella wasn't into the show. Neither was Tawny, who showed her displeasure by meowing.

"What is it, Tawny?" said Bella. Tawny climbed up to the window and meowed as she stared at the location of Edward's house. "You want to go there?" Tawny meowed again, this time being joined by her tiny offspring. Bella sighed and said, "Very well then. I'll take you to the house."

* * *

Alice said, "Don't be such a grumpy-pants, Edward! Embrace those kittens! They seem to like you."

"That's the problem," said Edward. "They're all over the place, driving me nuts with their meowing!"

"They're just babies," said Emmett. "And besides, who doesn't like baby cats?"

"Apparently, I don't," said Edward.

Alice said, "Be careful of how you say that, Edward. As far as I can tell, there might be a baby cat in your house right now."

"As if I hadn't known that already," said Edward. "I've had seven baby cats coming to visit me over a period of three weeks. How and why they chose to show up at my house, I don't know."

"Maybe we should go see if they're there right now," said Esme. "They might be telling you something."

* * *

Bella frowned as she watched Tawny squeeze herself past the back door and into the house. _So that's how they got in_, Bella thought to herself. Twilight, Cloud, Willow, Princess, Shadow, Robin, and Autumn followed their mother into the house as Bella watched. How was she going to get to them this time?

* * *

Edward got out of the car and said, "For the last time, Alice, there are no cats in my house."

"How do you know?" said Alice. "In fact, I can see one in the windowsill right now."

Edward nearly fainted as he saw Robin meowing at him in the window. Bella stood up from her spot on the porch and said, "Well, my cats are in your house."

"I can see that," said Edward as Robin continued crying. "How did they get in?"

"Through the cat door," said Bella. "It's right at the back door."

Edward and his family followed Bella to the back door and sure enough, there was a cat door that was installed near the back door. "Well, isn't this nice," said Edward. "But that still doesn't explain why they're in my house."

"Maybe because their mother is in the house as well," said Bella.

"Indeed," said Carlisle as he saw a large white cat in the kitchen window. "That must be the mother."

Edward unlocked the door and came face to face with EIGHT cats. "How nice," he muttered to himself. "Not only do I have to deal with seven baby cats, but I must deal with their mother as well. I just can't avoid these cats, or can I?"

"I think the cats are telling you something," said Rosalie.

"Such as," Edward began.

"They want you to take their owner out on a date," said Emmett.

"Well, should I?" said Edward.

"YES!" his family shouted.

Bella said, "I'll just take them and go." She rounded up the cats and put them in her cat stroller. Twilight meowed sadly as he stared at Edward, then his siblings joined in. Edward found himself frowning as he watched the cats being loaded up and taken away. Bella said to them, "Don't be sad; you can come back tomorrow."

That only made the cats meow louder. Bella shook her head; this was harder than she thought. Edward said, "Well, I was...kind of hoping...if you...want to being them over for...dinner." Bella hesitated for a second, but then Tawny laid a paw on her and meowed. "Oh, very well then," said Bella to Tawny. She then said to Edward, "Dinner sounds nice. Right now, I've got to put these little kittens to bed." She took the stroller and walked out the door. Edward fainted as soon as she left.

* * *

The next evening, Edward and Bella sat down to dinner as seven baby cats sat in a basket, meowing happily. They knew that their work was done. They had set Bella and Edward up.

The end!

* * *

That's all! I hope you've enjoyed this story!


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